ToxicStars

Has (temporarily?) left DA.

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A Plastic Existence by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

A Plastic Existence

Take a look at The young girls you have created They thrive upon a need For nothing less than perfection And with the standards you have set They will never reach their goal They mutilate their bodies They vomit their meals They smash their mirrors in disgust And dissaproval They read, their fashion magazine bibles Deep envy, pure hatred Longing, and love For the ones they live to become Flawless angels upon Glossy perfume scented pages They sacrifice their souls They offer nights of pleasure To whoever is willing To gaze upon them Expressing nothing but desire on their eager faces The ones who tell them, with expectatio

Hide-And-Seek by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

Hide-And-Seek

Why did you run away? I still remember the painful touch Of midnight air upon my fragile skin Traffic lights illuminate memories Of counting cars It was only a game And I always knew the next one would be yours But it never was Later, waiting for you by the door Listening to her cry on the couch I eventually heard Your voice Drained. Pleading, softly Strained attempts to redeem yourself Your sorry, I can hear it in your words The slap on your face Is a gunshot to your heart- And mine I always told you that I loved you most Even though you hurt us most I especially loved you most when we played hide and seek Until you bega

Silently Suffering by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

Silently Suffering

Silently crying So nobody hears Silently crying Releasing my tears Twisting and turning My body it screams Clawing and ripping Tearing away at my seams Fighting a battle That i'll never win My demons are conquering I know i'll give in Cutting my wings off I know I can't fly Crouch in a corner I'm waiting to die Carve words of pain Of hell and of terror Want to carve on my skin Spread my blood on the mirror I hear myself screaming Inside of my head I want you to listen I stay silent instead Pretend that i'm happy Until i'm alone Pretend i'm surviving Keep my struggles unknown Behind the comfort of walls Behind a lo

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Revealing to you, my pain by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

Revealing to you, my pain

You cornered me into comfort And eased me into fear Im falling in the same direction, again Hearing the same old voices pull me in No control over my feelings Senses go numb Just as fast as their brought to life, Again I crawl into the places, I dont want to go I climb out of the places, I thought I always wanted to know I let the words that I cant say Drench my empty letter to you In tears that never really seem to end I try to say the things I know that kill you not to hear But how would you feel If I told you all the things I try so hard To chase from my mind Before they show Its like they rise up from below Into my ve

The Black Knife of Solitude by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

The Black Knife of Solitude

Covering my ears and screaming to drown out the sound of the voices in my head Voices of the dead come back to haunt me Making all my nightmares real Maybe im just crazy but I can hear the demons inside Laughing as they eat me alive Ive reached the point where im dying Hurts too much for crying tears Blood takes their places Drips down my face The black knife of solitude has painted yet another image On my soul Is this what I get for pushing pain into places forced to become forgotten Before I know it, just another voice inside my head Another voice of a painful experience locked away Forced to become dead The empty hole

Dont Look At Me by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

Dont Look At Me

I look at me And I cant see any of the things in myself That you claim to see I think what you see is an illusion Because reflections never lie And I know what I see when I look at myself I see nothing I see damage I see fears I see dead empty eyes That have cried too many tears I see emotional burden Scars that nobody else can see Scars that I dont want to have to see So I smile But I realize that im lying to myself Because im not happy Why do you wrap yourself up In what you think I am? when I look at myself I see nothing I see hatred I see pain I see open wounds I see flaws that my heart cant contain What if you

Kill Me Now by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

Kill Me Now

Kill me now Im close enough to dead Ghosts and demons and fallen angels They beckon me into An underground bed My weeping eyes will be covered Shutting out life My scars will be hidden The ones that came from your knife Dirt will hide my story Hide my frailty hide my face Hide my casket clothing My body, covered in black lace Darkness will touch my features Gently kiss my lips And my music will be silence Ill embrace it with dead finger tips Some may bring me flowers Though I prefer that they did not.. They wither and die Like me below, as I rot Would you..and all of them.. Would you dare speak my name? Will this twiste

Girl by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

Girl

Feeding your addiction to perfection Like a drug to the heart Are you just another tragic beauty In a waste-land of plastic idols, and pills Gasping for breath in a sea of fake smiles Caught up in striving for what you wish you could be Mentally killing the girl in the mirror that you are forced to see So you run to your porcelain savior To gag yourself with lies And vomit out the truth And you grab your blade to slice away your senses To cut open the emotional pain To numb your soul and build your toleration He tells you that your pretty She tells you that your pretty But they whisper that your hideous And so you hide your fa

Her Diary Entries by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

Her Diary Entries

Its me again. Last night the knife I hide under my pillow Finally came out to see the light. I knew it had been wanting to I let it take control It sliced my leg I bled and bled And eventually I could have sworn My tears were bloody too Or maybe thats just because I kept wiping tears from my eyes With bloody fingertips Well now I hide my legs And wait for the scars to fade And with them a little piece of my heart The knife takes with it when it goes back to hiding Until its released again. Hello, again. Last night I finally broke my mirror I didnt want to have to look at myself ever again. And I looked down into the piec

Barely Alive by ToxicStars, literature

Literature

Barely Alive

Remind me, cause I cant remember why I stay When your eyes are burning through me And my heart is in a pile of ashes at my feet And my eyes have sunk into my head So my mind is all around me Memories ive tried to erase Blurred and bloody visions of your face Ive tried to kill your existence within my mind Tried and failed too many times. Remind me, cause I cant remember why im still here When words are piled up inside my mouth and Stabbing like sharp blades I stand there for you, A personal display of what youve made me Do you like what you see? Skin, and bones Silence, and decay Youth, wasted Remind me, cause I cant remembe

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About ToxicStars

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Deviant for 19 years

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ToxicStars

Mar 2, 2006

I'm ALIVE!

0 min read

Well. To anybody who cares, [Which is probably noone, anymore] I am finally back. Except, I have a new account. [Link.] So..If you are interested, Add that account.

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ToxicStars

Feb 19, 2005

Farewell

0 min read

Im leaving Deviant Art. So, goodbye. :heart:

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ToxicStars

Dec 18, 2004

Nikki loves surveys.

0 min read

 Have you ever.. Fallen for your best friend? - Yes Made out with JUST a friend? - No Been in love? - Yes Been in lust? - Yes Used someone? - No Been used? - Not that I know of Cheated on someone? - No Been cheated on? - Hopefully not.. :tears: Done something you regret? - Who hasnt? Who was the last person.. You touched? - Jonny You talked to? - My mom You hugged? - Jonny You instant messaged? - Katy, I think You kissed? - Jonny Have you/are you/do you.. Considered a life of crime? Haha, no. Considered being a hooker? - EVERY DAY. no, not really. Are you psycho? - :evillaugh: Split personalities? - It

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Profile Comments 106

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jshagam

Mar 28, 2005

thank you so much, it's the kind people like yourself that make this community worthwhile instead of it being completely consumed in popularity contests and whoring. I truly appreciate your encouraging feedback and friendliness